Thursday, March 31, 2011

What's in my pants?

So I stole this blog idea from Beverly. In her blog post, she talked about What’s In My Purse. Well, I don’t carry a purse around with me, and neither do any other guys I know (unless you’re Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or Alan from the Hangover).

Anyways, I thought I would do the dude’s version of What’s In My Purse. Since guys don’t have purses, I thought I would label this blog appropriately by calling it What’s In My Pants.

1) KEYS. Never leave home without em… no, literally… I wouldn’t go many places if I had to walk. They’re boring, but essential.

2) POCKET KNIFE. Old Timer brand is a sturdy well built knife that’s easy on the wallet. It’s not flimsy or light. Heavy duty and has a sharp blade. Good for opening envelopes, cutting fishing line, trimming finger nails, cutting open any bag that can’t otherwise be opened easily, or anything else a southern boy would need it for.

3) CARMEX. It’s not a big guy thing. Not a whole lotta guys like to wear chapstick or Carmex. But I have a habit of biting my lip. It helps my lips to heal from that and also sooths my windburn lips in case I’m outside too much. It also keeps my lips soft. And it's wife approved (ask the ladies. They don’t wanna be kissin up on yo stanky flaky lips)

4) WALLET. It’s a dude’s mini purse. It carries all the essentials like I.D.’s, License (driving and hunting/fishing), credit/debit cards, Cash, entertainment rental cards, Insurance cards, business cards, hole punch discount cards, etc… Besides. You ever get pulled over without it, you’re screwed!

5) iPhone. Yes, everyone’s got one or some sort of smart phone. It seems now-a-days, that it’s a necessity. While I do love mine and feel naked without it, I can certainly live without it (I know Adam is now having a heart attack while reading this). I love it because I can use it as my alarm, I can text, surf the internet, take pictures, play games, do bills, and update twitter or Facebook! Oh yeah, I can call people too. It’s a phone after all

6) ADDITIONAL ITEMS NOT PICTURED. Of course sometimes, we dude’s need other things as well. These things can range from lighters, to mini flashlights, sunglasses, condoms, gum or mints, to even equal packets! Yes, equal packets. If you live in the South but are trying to cut back on your sugar intake or prefer Equal to sugar, you better keep some in your pocket or wallet just in case! You may love that restaurant, but if the only option is sweet-n-low, you’re drinkin that iced tea unsweetened buddy. (Note - Splenda can sometimes be substituted for Equal)

Not sure if the above would make people think of, “You can tell a lot about a man by his ____.” If so, well then keep your thoughts to yourself!, comment on this post instead!

Either way, there you have it. What’s in my pants… The Dude’s essentials. Please, NO man purses!

1 comment:

Adam Hummer said...

"While I do love mine and feel naked without it, I can certainly live without it (I know Adam is now having a heart attack while reading this)."

Right before I got to the part where you mentioned me I really was starting to freak out lol then when I read that about me I almost died laughing! lol you know me too well!